June 16, 2013

You know those movies where the cute little kid finds an orphan tiger or monkey or gorilla or duck or radioactive beast in the wild and rescues it, bringing it home to learn about love and friendship?  They grow up together and it's usually the most adorable thing we've ever seen and we all decide to go out and find our own wild tiger/monkey/gorilla/duck to become best friends with.  They go through all of life's hardships together, the wild animal follows the kid to school and waits outside for them, they play catch together when the kid has no friends, the animal fights off bullies for the kid, the share an ice cream cone together, they go to prom together, etc.  Ignorant bliss for many years, right?

Eventually though, during the course of the film when the tiger/monkey/duck is an adult, the mother/scientist/parental figure goes to the precious child who raised the wild animal and has a serious sit-down with them about the well-being of this wild creature.  The mean old scientist person talks with the animal's friend about releasing their animal into the wild saying, "that wild animal doesn't belong with us.  They belong with their own kind.  You have to let them go.  They'll be so much happier if you let them go."  Tears ensue and eventually the little human realizes that, indeed, they need to let their animal friend go because they belong with their own kind in the wild.

Sunset on the farm

A very dramatic scene follows in which the human takes a long car ride to the jungle and lets their animal friend out in a forest-y wonderland.  Usually the animal doesn't understand why their best friend is leaving them and tries to chase after the car (making the audience tear up over a dang gorilla chasing after their human friend).  But then we're rewarded with seeing the wild animal bond with some of its own kind and frolicking in the wind.

Great story, right?  Well I've just realized that I'm that wild creature who needs to be returned to the wild.

For too long have I been away from my overly-social atmosphere with friends over all the time, busy with school/work/homework, stressed with finding a mate...I mean table to study at.  I was at the peak of my game - I had Provo at my feet.  Top girl.  But really - I loved my last year at college and was completely happy.  I had fantastic friends, loved my classes, work was pretty great, and I would have been content to stretch out that year for a long time.  But alas, time moves on and so must we.

So now I have gone from being an hyper-social creature surrounded by my own kind to living with old people, basically ostracized from my own kind.  And don't get me wrong - I love those dang old people.  But I need to find a way to fill this insatiable appetite I have that's dominating my life right now and find a way to return to my own kind.

Now this cat is my new best friend.
And the dang thing won't even let me get close enough to love her.

Until then I guess I'll just continue working on the good 'ol farm.  Weedin and such.  Which, I mean, I'm pretty good at.  But really - take a look at this stunning before & after...

 ...and 2 hours later....

 Ohhhhhh yeeeeeah baby, that's the exaaaaact same piece of land in both those pictures.  It's basically my pride and joy right now.  I'm considering charging an entry fee and opening the site to the public, but we'll see.  My ego is pretty big already over this stretch of land and I'm not sure all the publicity and news crews would be good for me.

Oh, and here's the equally impressive pile of grass that was removed.  I'm considering giving it to the local orphanage to stuff their empty mattresses with so they'll have something soft to sleep on.  I'm just guessing it'll fill up at least 82 average-sized orphans' beds.  Or 148 hungry orphans'.  Just an estimate.